Let’s Get Vocal- How to Dirty Talk
So, what is dirty talk? Dirty talk includes all those risqué sounds and words that are used to enhance your passionate moments in the bedroom. The appropriate words and sounds may make or break a sexual adventure; they can help to express immediate feedback, wants, and needs, and consent. It even allows you to explore fetishes, fantasies, and roleplay. Although sharing your private sexual thoughts is not for everyone, and can make you feel extremely vulnerable and exposed, it is a great way to let loose- physically and mentally! If the thought of it makes you cringe but you still want to try it, we've got you covered with our dirty talk beginner's guide….
Start by Going Solo
So, starting out, a great way to start out dirty talk is by practising solo; you can get used to saying the words, feeling them roll off your tongue, and hearing them come out of your mouth. You can do this by talking dirty to yourself out loud when you masturbate. Get comfortable with it. Then, when it comes to having sex, you can start slowly dropping in a statement or asking a question in dirty talk style. Don't put too much pressure on yourself—after all, you don't have to talk nonstop for the whole of your sexy time.
It Doesn’t Have to be Explicit
It’s easy to assume that dirty talk is all vulgarities, but it can be far from that, the "dirt" is in the details. If you’re lost for words, start by describing how your partner is making you feel—just verbalising the fact that they’re turning you on is a great start, describe the moment out loud about what’s currently happening, what’s about to happen or what you’d like to happen. You can try asking them what they’d like you to do to them or you can describe what you’d like them to do to you. Even a little encouragement helps, such as "I love it when you..." or "I can’t get enough of..." And if all else fails and you can’t bring yourself to say any particular words, moans, heavy breathing, and a wholehearted "yes" can all do the trick.
Expand the Scene
Talking dirty doesn’t have to stay in the bedroom. What better way to get your partner all excited than to send them a few dirty text messages throughout the day? The classics are classics for a reason; start by telling them what sexy lingerie you’ll be wearing and what you want to do to them when you get home; this never fails to have its desired effect. Just make sure you’re texting the right person before you hit send!
Don’t Overthink It
The key is to not think too much—just go with the flow and say what’s on your mind. Tell your partner how much they are turning you on, how good that thrusting is feeling, how hot their body is, and how naughty they are making you feel. The whole point of dirty talk is to have fun. Sex is fun, awkward, sweaty, messy, funny, and everything in between. If you say the wrong words or talking too dirty just feels too cringey to you, just laugh it off and keep going with the flow.
Discuss it with your partner
It’s important that you check in with your partner throughout and have a recap when you’re done, whether this be afterwards in bed, or even the day later. You can talk about what worked and what didn’t, whilst keeping an open mind for each other. If you feel like you’ve got the basics sorted and you want to level up some more, you can discuss and explore your partners kinks and fantasies. Sex is all about having good communication with your partner, and dirty talk is just an extension of that, so remember to keep talking with one another!
